Patience my child...

Growing up with older parents made me realize how precious life is. I lost my father when I was only 18 years old, and I was devastated - I felt so abandoned during such an already difficult stage of my life. My mother went on to outlive a second husband (13 years her junior), as well as her oldest son who passed away a few years ago. She currently lives in an assisted living home in Texas, and my family and I just celebrated her 96th birthday! Although none of us children live nearby, she seems to be managing fairly well. She's survived a partial hip replacement after breaking her hip last year and gets around by using a walker. She is pretty frail, but thankfully says she doesn't hurt anywhere, which is truly a blessing. Mentally, she has her good days and her bad days.

The last couple of weeks, it seems she has called myself, my brother and two sisters sporadically, sometimes several times a day, as she thinks she hasn't talked to us for a while. About a week or so ago, she called me at 6:00 a.m. my time (7:00 am her time), and when I answered, she said "Do you know who this is?" Before I could say anything, she gave me her first and last name. My heart sunk, and I said "Of course, Mother, I know this is you." After I made sure she was alright, I told her how frightened I was that she was calling so early as I was so worried that something had happened to her. She then apologized for worrying me and began to ask the same canned questions that she asks my siblings and I each time that she calls. "How in the world are you?" "What's new?" She said she saw her phone list of names and thought "Well I haven't talked to her in a while." I told her that I indeed had just spoken with her a few days prior.

I went ahead and went on with my workday. Later that same day, I walked into my house after work to the phone ringing. I saw on the called ID that it was Mother again. I answered, and it was like we never talked at all that day. After we went through the same conversation we'd had earlier, I explained that I was getting ready for a date that evening and needed to go. She wished me a fun night and we hung up. It wasn't 30 minutes later until there she was on the caller ID once again. I let it go to voice mail...

I know - I felt bad doing it, but as ashamed of myself as I was, I did it anyway. I had to get ready for my date afterall, and heaven forbid I spend another five minutes or so repeating my conversation from earlier. After talking to my siblings a couple of days later, they confirmed that yes, Mother had been calling them randomly the same way. We all laughed about it and agreed that at least she was still able to pick up the phone and call us.

A few days later, I received a "forward" from a good friend of mine. You're probably no different than me in that you receive a handful or two of "forwards" each day. You might delete most of them, especially if you are constantly receiving them from particular people who seem to have nothing better to do with their time than to hit that forward button to everyone in their address book. This forward had sat in my inbox a few days before I took the time to open it, but when I did - the impact it had on me was powerful. It was a much needed reminder of role reversal and how one day the child may be nurturing the parent with the same much needed patience the once younger parent had to show to the helpless child.

Check this out - it only takes a couple of minutes and is so worth the viewing. It's a 2007 short Greek film about a father and son sitting on a bench.

"What is that?"

For those of you who still have your parents around, you are fortunate - truly blessed. Don't let another day go by without showing or telling them how much you love them. Be patient with them. You may not have another chance, and living with regrets is not healthy.

Mother called me this afternoon while I was still at work. I had been feeling very guilty about how I had sent her to voicemail and joked with my sisters about receiving "stalker" calls from Mother. When I saw she was calling, I picked up the phone with a big smile on my face and was ready for the questions, "So how in the world are you?" she asked. Her voice sounded very happy and she seemed more clear-minded than she was the last time we spoke. She said she was feeling so good that it was just "ridiculous!" She then told me how much she loved me and how she had the best kids in the world. I told her we had the best mother in the world. We hung up after I told her I would talk to her in a few days.

I've asked God to forgive me for my selfishness and lack of patience with my mother. Tomorrow is another day, and I'm ready for that phone call. I know that one day I'll be wishing I could hear her voice, so I'm going to enjoy it while I can and be available whenever she calls. Maybe I'll even surprise her and call her first!