Back to the basics of life and love....

“The consumption society has made us feel that happiness lies in having things, and has failed to teach us the happiness of not having things.” ~ Elise Boulding

Supposedly we’re coming to the end of a recession – or at least the worst of the worst, but who really knows? I spoke to an acquaintance today who told me that 8 out of 10 of her friends have lost their homes to foreclosures. She also told me that when her $500 a month Audi lease runs out, she is going to downsize to a more affordable car. She rarely goes out anymore and has definitely simplified her life. Here in Scottsdale, I’ve noticed empty parking spots in otherwise packed high-end restaurants a year or so ago. It’s happening all around us, and no one is immune to its effects.

Recently I put together some short stories that my mom had written 10 years ago, and one of them was titled “Our Cotton Pickin’ Honeymoon.” You see my parents were married in 1932 in the heart of the Great Depression. As I was editing the story for her 96th birthday tribute, I couldn’t help but be touched by how she described the early years of their marriage and how in the midst of all the uncertainty and turmoil, they were truly happy.

They didn’t have a car when they first married, but then my dad bought a Model T Coupe from his brother-in-law. It didn’t run at the time, but he was able to overhaul it. He bought the car on credit for $10 and paid if off $1 a week. They set off on their honeymoon adventure looking for cotton to open in the west Texas area. Apparently my mom and dad could pull cotton faster than most, and were able to pull 1,000 pounds a day for a whopping $3! They didn’t have a place to stay, so they drove around with an old mattress tied to the top of their car, uncertain as to where they would lay their heads each night. At one point, they lived in a dirt floor room at my grandparent’s house. Here’s an excerpt from her story:

“The following spring, we moved into their garage, which had a dirt floor. We had a table, two chairs, a bed, and apple crates standing on ends for cabinets to put our dishes in, also used as a dresser with a small mirror propped against the wall. I kept it as clean and attractive as I could. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t all bad. We were happy and so much in love that we looked at every day as an adventure. We didn’t have much, but neither did very many other people.”

My mom was 20, and my dad was 22 at the time, very young, but so much in love. They didn’t know from day to day where their next meal would come from. However, I still see my mom’s eyes light up even now, 70+ years later, when she reminisces about that time in her life.

Maybe what we’re going through right now isn’t really so bad. I see people who otherwise would be driving around in their fancy cars, wearing fancy watches and designer ‘everything’ having to take a step back and simplify their lives. Just as a national tragedy seems to bring people together, I see people of all backgrounds making adjustments during this time of economic crisis and begin to share their situations with others who at one time may have seemed worlds away from their own socioeconomic status.

So maybe you’re thinking twice about running over to the latest hot spot and dropping a couple hundred dollars on a meal and a nice bottle of wine, and maybe you’re looking at the next level down for your designer jeans – whatever it is, simplification is definitely the order of the day. The days of keeping up with the Jones’ are a thing of the past – at least in the real world. When thinking about writing this blog on the subject of getting back to the basics, this old Waylon Jennings song stuck in my mind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiIXRAlUdQs

So maybe we need to get back to the basics of love as well: What I hear from my mom when she shares about that challenging time in her life was not one of doom and gloom, but rather a time of adventure she and my dad shared as “one.” They were experiencing life with the unconditional love of one another, and nothing could come between that love, even if it meant picking cotton on their honeymoon!

Maybe there's a lesson to be learned from our current state. Maybe we stop looking for the "bigger, better deal." Maybe we have people right under our noses who were strategically placed in our lives so that we can possibly experience that "Great Depression” love my parents experienced. Maybe we should be extremely thankful for what we have in 2009 right here and right now. Maybe it’s time we get back to the basics in life and love...